My Best Friend - The Baby Whisper

In my past blogs I have vehemently blasted articles that constantly tell moms what they do wrong, and this week I was fortunate to come across a new book, The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers by Tracy Hogg (I will refer to this book as SBWT from here on out).  I loved her book for babies and the advice that she gave worked very well.  So, needless to say, I scooped this book up and I have already read it from cover to cover.

As a working mom its hard to find the support group of other mothers, especially when so few of your close friends even have children, let alone live nearby.  We try to find time to meet new moms and do play groups, but a lot of time we find ourselves driving to Connecticut so not only can our child have a play group, but we can have a play group with the parents -- talking about the struggles of being a parent and how to deal with all the every day life, oh and to also laugh (something I think all parents need to do, otherwise you just wont survive).  Therefore, I know I rely a lot on books and blogs, and that is why I was so happy to find SBWT.

When I started reading SBWT I felt at ease -- she understands what I am dealing with.  It is so amazing to be able to take a simple test, and find that the description that ensues is pretty much your child.  All of the other books lump all toddlers into one type, who should develop all the same and in the same way.  SBWT recognizes, much like her baby book, that there are different types of toddlers -- they all have different little personalities.  Because of these personalities we need to approach each of our toddlers in a different way, we need to identify how our toddlers react and what is their driving force.  I found this view a breath of fresh air.  SBTW went into ways to get ahold of normal everyday problems with your toddler -- and she doesn't blame the parent.  I love how she teaches parents to be stronger and to be more positive.  To find the balance between overbearing and loving -- to give independence but still be the guider.

Furthermore, the book really made me think, we have issues with our son crying when he gets up in the morning.  We have subsequently instilled the "making the crib" a fun place to be in during the day when he is awake.  Using the method taught in SBWT for only one day our child woke up this morning -- whimpered a little and before I even got to his bedroom he was happy and playing in his crib.  We are going to keep moving forward with this technique and hopefully we will soon have a baby who wakes up happy in the morning.

Lastly, SBWT made us seriously sit back and think about such things as introducing the potty and giving up the binki...all things we knew where looming, but the advice given was so positive and realistic it made us realize that the sooner we do these things the better for our child, because he is not going to give up the binki overnight and he isn't going to be potty trained over night.  But, if we put the foundation in now, we will be able to really succeed when we start the processes.  That said, we are going to get a little potty for James to sit on in the bathroom so he is aware of it and not afraid, and then when he is ready to really start potty training he isn't afraid.  And, finally, we are going to start getting rid of the binki after we succeed with the crib...one step at a time.

Overall, this book made me remember to enjoy my "spirited" toddler and helped us to guide him through this very up and down time -- I must say that SBWT had an email that it quoted in the book, which says it all and makes me look at toddlerhood in a whole new light -- the emailer said that she looked at her toddler as he/she was going through PMS evey single day, and imagine doing that and not being able to speak, express yourself, etc.  Of course there are going to be days of hiting, biting, tantrums but that will make the good moments that much better!

I only wish I could call Tracy today to tell her, unfortunately she passed away to cancer in 2004 -- but, I am still grateful for her wisdom and gentle approach to motherhood.