Clean Up on Aisle 15!!

I think of all the articles / lists I have read that tell you what you absolutely need to cart around with you while out and about with a baby / toddler and I laugh.  Seriously, the books would have you packing your entire nursery and then some.  Furthermore, I always laughed when they said to make sure that you have an extra shirt for yourself.  In James' first 18mths of life, I never packed extra clothes for myself.  Yes, I have shown up at work and realized i have a little dribble of milk or spit up down my back or even snot on my shoulder -- but seriously what working mom hasn't experienced this?  I feel like it goes with out saying that every now and then you will be showing the world that you have a kid by what is on your shoulder / back and the fact that you are walking around as if its not there (the reason for this attitude -- you don't know its there till some stupid person points it out and makes you say CRAP!).

Needless to say, I have officially learned when a parent SHOULD pack extra clothes for themselves.  This all began last Friday.  I received a call from daycare that James had a slight fever and that he needed to be picked up.  So, I hung up the phone with daycare and called the Doctor.  With everything that has been going on with this kid, I wanted his ears checked before the weekend.  So, I left work, got home, picked up the diaper bag, a change of clothes for James, a snack including milk and water, and some toys.  When I got to daycare James was striped down to almost nothing to try and keep him cool. We scooped him up and I packed him into the carriage, briefly spoke to the teacher and found out that he had refused to eat his morning snack and his lunch. Joyous.

So, we get to the doctors office and I know that he is truly not feeling well because he is happily just lounging in his stroller and doesn't want to move or to be touched.  So, we go back into the room, and of course I have the huge stroller and we get the smallest room in the world -- in hindsight I should have left the stroller in the waiting room. So, they strip the baby down, weigh him, and take his temperature -- which was 102.6! Ugh...so now i have a burning up uncontrollably cranky baby, oh fun!  The doctor comes in and wants to know what is going on, sits down and then it starts -- World War III of vomiting.  Now when I say vomit went everywhere that is an understatement.  I am now covered in head to toe vomit, and James just wont stop -- I am thinking my god where is this all coming from?  Its in my hair, under my vest, in my shirt on my bra, down my pants, in my underwear and has even soaked through my sneakers into my socks.  Somehow, the baby only has some pooled onto his bare leg and the floor is just covered.  The pediatrician is trying to soak up the vomit that has landed and pooled into every crevice of my body and clothes using those stupid worthless industrial paper towels.  The kind of paper towels that are worse then soaking up liquid then an actual tree.

So needless to say, he is more or less smearing the vomit into my clothes.  Then he starts stating "clean up on Aisle 15!" while trying to get the door open to get some fresh air in, meanwhile I am trying my damnedest not to puke on my own child. Finally he turns to me and states "looks like he had yogurt and blueberries today" -- at that point I turned six shades of green and state "nope that is his milk from this morning and blueberries -- that is all he ate".  Inside I am screaming stop talking, stop talking!  So, I turn to my phone pick it up, dial Matt and start screaming that he needs to leave work, get on the damn subway, get home to get me cloths!!! Then I take a breath and re-group...we get through the rest of the appointment without anymore episodes.

Now James is exhausted falling asleep and I have to change into the jacket that thank god i brought (even though its 70 degrees out!!!).  So now I am leaving the office with vomit ever where, trying to find out where Matt is --- and all I can smell is vomit!  I finally meet him outside the T stop and we stop at Gap (so I can get some new clothes). I literally grab a t-shirt and pants put it on in the dressing room, go up to the counter pull out the tags that are still attached to the clothes I am wearing and throw my leg up on the counter so they can remove the security tag thing.  Then the checkout guy asks having a good day -- I looked at him and said, "no not really -- see these (i lift up my original clothes) they covered in puck, can I have a bag please?"  The poor man looked at me, obliged and gave me a bag.  We then were off to the grocery store to get pedialite and all the things necessary to keep James happy and hydrated! 

At the end of all of this, I have learned that I should bring at least an extra shirt when going to the doctors, that I can actually not sympathy vomit and that I need to learn to settle down when things go spiriling out of my control.  I really didn't need Matt to come home and rescue me, but I had no other way of possibly reacting and I just couldn't confront what was actually happening.  Now, I know we can get through it and sometimes - even though it may absolutely stink - I need to take a deep breath, and not react so irrationally (much easier said then done, but hopefully I can learn to practice this.)